


The Hardest Word

by st4rlabsforever (omaken)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Has A Lot Of Feelings, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 17:36:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9913637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omaken/pseuds/st4rlabsforever
Summary: Alec surfaces for air. “I said, I fucked up. Happy now?”Izzy rolls her eyes. “Remember when we discussed how to give an actual, grownup apology? Time to put those skills to good use.”





	

Jace doesn’t consider himself an avid reader by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s all settled down with one of Magnus’s tomes on shadowhunters in the nineteenth century. The only problem is the sudden lurch he feels through his parabatai bond.

There’s been a pulsing undercurrent of tension all day, but now it feels like his stomach’s tied in knots. Jace tries to ignore it. Alec’s been going through the whole gamut of emotions now that he and Magnus have decided to explore a relationship together. Besides, he’d be able to tell if Alec was in actual danger.

So Jace pushes the feeling down and tries to get back to his evening. He gets about five minutes of peace to himself before he can feel his heart rate spike. Anxiety. It’s almost the exact same way Jace had felt during his ups and downs with Clary, except he’s currently laid out on Magnus’s plush sheets, lounging in Magnus’s way-too-soft flannel pants, and this should be relaxing dammit.

When his fingers start jittering, he throws down his book in frustration.

“Oh, for the love of–”

Tracking down Alec isn’t exactly difficult. It _is_ a little shocking, though, to find Alec in a dive bar, two glasses already drained in front of him.

“Jace!” Izzy all but shouts, and Jace hadn’t even noticed her presence until now. She drops her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Alec’s going through _relationship troubles_.”

“I can hear you, you know.”

Alec sounds, in a word, miserable.

“First lover’s spat?” Jace asks, sliding onto the stool beside Alec.

“Go on, show him,” Izzy nudges. She sounds entirely too invested in this drama, but Jace figures maybe that’s a good thing. Alec’s interpersonal skills tend to take a dive when she’s not around.

Alec slides his phone over.

> _Hey, are we still on for dinner tonight? I can swing by at 6:30._

_Read: 5:19PM_

_> Maybe we can go for a walk by the pier after?_

_Read: 5:53PM_

_> Let me know?_

_Read: 6:25PM_

“It says he read them. Why doesn’t he answer?” Alec says gloomily.

Izzy pats him on the shoulder. “Maybe he’s busy with a downworld emergency?”

“But I just saw him laying on his couch doing–” Izzy’s eyes flare dangerously. Jace wants to shove his foot in his mouth, “–oh. Uh, just kidding?”

Alec’s thumps his forehead on the bar counter.

“I’m sure he’ll come around,” Jace says cautiously. As ambivalent as he’d initially felt about Magnus, he can’t deny that what he and Alec have is so much more than a simple fling.

But Izzy slides the phone back to him and says, “scroll up.”

Gradually, Jace’s eyes widen as he reads through the exchange. “By the angel, Alec. That’s...this is how you said sorry?”

Alec thumps his head on the counter again, and his next words are muffled through the wood.

“Can’t hear you,” Jace points out helpfully. Izzy smacks him over the head.

Alec surfaces for air. “I said, I fucked up. Happy now?”

Izzy rolls her eyes. “Remember when we discussed how to give an actual, grownup apology? Time to put those skills to good use.”

Alec fiddles with his phone. What happens next, Jace will argue to his dying breath (no matter what Izzy says), is too fast for Jace to be able to stop in time.

_> Can we talk?_

_Read: Now_

Izzy practically hisses. “You can’t do that over text! What the hell, Alec?”

“I didn’t know.” He sounds absolutely wretched. “How was I supposed to know that?”

“You of all people should know you need to do this in person. And _you_ ,” she rounds on Jace like a bull in a china shop, “why didn’t you stop him?”

“Me?” Jace splutters. “What about you?”

“Guys, what do I do…?”

Izzy sighs, not unsympathetically. “Okay, first? Get him a gift. You’re good at that, right? Magnus tells me you’re _actually_ good at that. It’ll be your trump card.”

And Alec squares his shoulders like a soldier taking down orders.

“Then go – _in person_ –” she scowls at Jace, then plows on before he can retort, “and apologize. _Properly_. You’re gonna have to grovel.”

“A lot,” Jace adds, and Izzy nods.

“Be honest. Tell him all of this is new to you, and you’re not used to having to make these considerations but you’re learning how to make this work. You _do_ want to make it work, right?”

Alec nods immediately, and the surge of hope hits Jace square in the chest so hard that he’s nearly reeling. And by the angel, Jace is invested in this, too. Loathe as he is to admit it, he likes seeing Alec and Magnus together. He likes seeing Magnus and Alec _happy_ together. And if that means he needs to give his brother some much-needed dating advice, then so be it. Plus, the added effect of not feeling like his heart is dying by proxy is a bonus.

The bartender slides another beer towards Alec with a sympathetic look.

“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” Jace says, intervening and sliding the glass over to himself. Alec’s only had two beers so far, and he’s by no means a lightweight – or, at least, he _shouldn’t_ be – but he rarely drinks, if ever, and it tends to hit him harder and faster than it does most people.

Alec pouts – honest to god _pouts_ – and wipes his lips on his sleeve.

“What are you waiting for?” Izzy says.

Alec shakes his head and rolls his shoulders. “I can do this.”

Jace claps him on the back.

“Yeah, I can do this,” Alec says again, more to himself than his siblings.

Before Jace can say anything else, Alec throws down a twenty, slides off his stool, and strides determinedly out the door.

Jace lets off a low whistle.

“ _I know_ ,” Izzy says, pursing her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I have never watched an episode of Shadowhunters, so please excuse any errors :x
> 
> as usual, comments give me life :)


End file.
